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Saturday, April 08, 2006

Crashed Crushes


ab bhi na khola ho woh khoon.. khoon nahi paani hain...
desh ke kaaam na aaaye woh bekaar jawaani hain.
-this has got nothing to do with wuts gonna follow.


It's just a little crush
Not like I faint every time u smile at me
Not like I feel current shock every time we touch
It's just some little thing
Not like everything I do depends on you
Not that i could make a living outta loving you

WARNING!!
The text that is going to follow is a work for satisfying my nostalgia. Chances are there that you will get bored. So, reader discretion is needed.

May last week, 1997.
Trips to granma's and all the relatives houses, one week stay @ kuchipudi, dad's uncle's place, the palmyra fruits, mangoes, bycycle rides, the temple, touring talkies, sambaar rice in the nite with ghee n paapad, sleeping under the sky over roof... the summer holidays after 9th class seemed to be the only best thing on the earth. 10th class. board exams. high expectations. mom says, ur future depends on ur performance this year. abbbbaaaa.... sare amma!! dad as usual, wont say anything, but will wuttever we want.
- cut -
board exams!! never in life i went to tutions, 'i dont think i need one' i told to my frends. 'but this year, u must have one'. they replied. KKR, new teacher in school was doin good. murali n i went to KKR's house to join the tution, he welcomes warmly and tells me to join the other kids from next morning. shud be there by 7. WHAT?? 7? that means catch a bus by 630 -> start at home by 615 -> shud wake-up by 530 -> key in alarm to ring at 5... (mom was great, she wakes up by 430 to prepate lunch box. simply great.i luv u mom!!). mmmmmmmm.... ok. fine! neat! gud! bye sir. c u 2maro.
- cut -
720. the first room of KKR's house was half filled, murali din turned up yet, gud. not bad start raja. KKR was busy in his puja. i was asked to sit outside on the bench as nobody turned up. bright summer morning. bench was in small gulli / corridor of that residential complex. corridor ended with a steel gate infront of which kids used to put their bycycles. i was looking into gulli thru gate expecting murali or some other. (okey start the guitar, no, not that fast, slow, little strokes of strings. good. thats it. heroine gonna enter!! and she deserves some great backgrnd score) BSA SLR blue. who is she? sea blue punjaabi dress. wet hair. face glowing in bright sun, as she had applied turmeric and had a head bath vth soapnut and hibiscus leaves. typical brahmin. my heart starts beating faster as she looks at me while locking her bycycle. few curls of hair falls over her forehead obstructing my view of her face. she tucks them behind her ear, collecting books from the basket. damn man!! i din had the power of stopping time. having that, i wud hav stopped the time and wud have spent a million years looking at her. but this is not darna mana hain. she comes to me, passes me and gets into the tution. GONE!! my future!? i am sure i am gonna messup with my board exams if this girl is in my tution - i thought (i was wrong). everybody from my class were calling her akkaaa (sister! didi!) but i didnt.
- cut -
harina was the name. one year senior to me. was from our skool, but was in english medium. inter - sidhardha womens college. MCA - Modern Academy. Trainee - Motorola. working now in - satyam. i laugh at myself whenever i got to see her now.


February, 1997.
harini, ditched me.(to be frank she left tution as she got her own personal problems with sir. wait, dont mis-understand KKR.) and i got into serious business... the studies. ha ha ha, kidding. never were (and are) the studies serious business to me. i was as usual enjoying the academic and personal life. was SPL in school, roaming on streets after school on murali's bike, enjoying the to and fro bus rides to and from tution (early in the morning and late in the nite).
- cut -
it was the penultimate examination. pre-finals. the results were out soon and director came to class to distribute the progress reports. donno how or why, but the first name to call was 'p raj bharath'. the call was from the stage.(yah we had little elevation having a desk and a chair both made of wood. asset for teachers, to catch hold of mischievious students in back benches. poor teachers, never bothered about first two benches students. they thot, first benches students are the nerdy types of students... they thot those benches are noise free zones. poor fellas they din met me. i was in 2nd bench, catching all fun.) the call was from director sir (he had this amazingly strange bald head. if any body had shoes vth that skin, he wudnt need to polish 'em again. super shiny.:P) every other student was like - :O, eyes n mouth equally wide-open. as that was the first time in class' history for a non-sriValli to get into the first place. my director was frowning at me as i was pinching myself instead of goin to him. he calls again, i sprung up and i jumps outta bench and leaps to stage.
- cut -
that evening, tution.
as usual we had a dosa on the way to tution and reached tution. she was crying. and sir was sitting beside her consoling. i enter the scene. (i go to her. put my right hand on her shoulder. left hand under her chin. lift her face up. remove right hand from her shoulder. wipe off her tears, caress her cheek with it. then i grin. NO, I DIDNT DO THAT!!). i enter the scene i left. no actions no dialogues.
- cut -
was sitting in the other room of tution. trying to forget wut happened. but that scene kept on playing... as somebody was palying it keeping the 'repeat again' button on.
- cut -
was walking to the bus-station. yah. murali left early, so i had to walk to the stop, catch the bus and go home. a girl stops me on the way. she was elder to me. she was in night dress. i was lookin at her confusingly. 'i am srivalli's elder sister. she was telling about you. congrats.' 'thanks'. i said. 'its our house', showing a house which was a couple of yards away, srivalli was standing at the gate. she was smiling. never seen a smile that looked so sad. 'i din know that' i said. 'ok, u r getting late. bye'.grin...'bye'.
- cut -
my second crush. srivalli. very clever. very cute. donno where is she now. how is she. wut shez doing... i talked with her just once in my whole life. after our class farewell party.


May, 1998.
no trips to granpa's house this time. went and returned from state government's boarding intermediate college (it was pretty famous for its qauality education then). dad decides that i'll join gowtham. teenage. suddenly the world seems to be beautiful. u'll find girls beautiful, suddenly. u'll feel like a butterfly and u'll feel like every flower is worth tasting. u'll feel like u r the king of the world. like evry one around is wrong except u. u'll start understanding NV jokes. u'll start enjoying comments on gals. and there are whole lot many things i cant put here. so, back to business... ours was co-ed day-scholar college. situated at most happening locality for intermediate students, benz circle. we had around 25 guys and slightly less number of gals.
- cut -
there comes the first 'varalaxmi vratham' of the season. never knew ppl celebrate such festival also. i knew the boys were expecting gals to come in traditional wear (almost all guys likes girls in traditional dress). first hour was maths, BSR, we used to call him foumula1. (all the mathematics formulas of the whole world were on his tongue tip.) everybody was listening to his class (yah, ppl really show good interest in intermediate). but my eyes were stucked to the door. was expecting someone. there comes she. in half saree. pink half saree with shiny green silk blowse and long silk skirt (we call it pattu langaa in telugu). vennela was her name.(vennela is the moonlight) beautiful right? she was more beautiful. i know she was aware of the fact why i chose the exact opposite bench to her place. but, i didnt care wut she thinks; i just didnt wanted to miss the chance. i know. she was aware of the fact that once the lecture gets completed, my eyes will find her and will start admiring her. i know, she was aware of the fact that she was my crush. and i know, she was aware of the fact that i am not gonna talk vth her in my life time.
- cut -
vennela, the 3rd crush of my life. shez doing her MS in USofA. she was dating praveen, a guy i know (he was from my place). hez doin his MS in USofA. hope, they'll get married.


september, 2K.
world got settled back as Y2K problem got solved, so were my parents as i got engineering admission... that too in vijayawada. dad might have felt like gettin bonus with the salary. as my interest was in fashion designing or art skool or something of that sort... my first day into college wasnt exciting at all. after getting ragged by not-so-good-looking gals in the college bus, i was literally dragging my legs to the freshman engineering building (if u want me to put in non-administrative terms, 1st year building). met few of my intermediate classmates in the corridor and then got into the north-east corner room of the 2nd floor of the building. The room was half filled as the group entered.
- cut -
it break for 15mins and the next hour was library hour (to put our terms, gamesroom-or-canteen-or-do_nuthing-hour). we thought we'll take a tour, like the roosters running around unaware of the hawks looking for prey. we were caught by a senior sitting under the mango tree beside the place where buses used to stop.
-cut-
name? raj bharath
u *&*^*& dont u know how to answer to a senior? full name?!!
raj bharath prathipati
me, being a non-C guy, i was hauled to a guy sitting on the well.(but, how he knew that?)
which section?
202 - pause -... -exchange of looks- ...-damn!!-... 202 sir!
SD!!?
silence (ha?)
Sonta Dabba ra!! (kinda bio-data)
was thinking, wut to say, where to start!!
wait!!, first go and find-out abt that gal.
his eyes -> shoulder -> hand ->index finger -> DHUD!! as my eyes settled at her face. my heart pounds out and falls over ground making a sound. DHUD. aayela! kya face hain yaar?? white color slwar kameej, gray dupatta, long plait, sweet round face, silver color bindi. seemed KLCE was heaven and teh leader of the angels was coming for a morning walk.
'choosindi challe, vellu' (stop staring at her, go!!) senior's words were dragging and fading. he was saying something i din listen to. i told myself. 'KLCE is great. greatest of all colleges. might be i was satya harischandra in last birth. the good deeds resulted as a seat in KLCE. jai jai harischandra!! was abt to put quick start pose, but i heard, 'adi choudary, ra!'. voice of the second senior was crisp and strong.
- cut -
the girl happened to be our classmate and suddenly the classroom seemed to be a tennis court as two rows of boys' eyeballs started oscillating between varadaraajulu sir and that girl.
- cut -
soumya pottimuthyapu. inter - geetanjali. baabu PWD lo employee. CSE branch. she comes from patamata NTR circle. has got a sister. got the whole information by the evening.
- cut -
2 minutes later, i mean, 2 days later, (those 2 days she was talk of college, atleast among boys), she was off. vanished. joined, NGIT, ECE. (the heaven got shifted to NGIT now).


few days later, same year.
some of my friends and i have collectively decided that we gonna try our luck in NGIT or leave engineering and settle as farmers if we are kicked outta NGIT. later, we thot thats a bad idea.
- cut -
one fine morning me and my frnds were standing in the corridor, after having lunch. the clas was abt to begin. i saw this life size baribie girl doll in indian outfit, descending the steps. no! no! it wasnt a doll. friends told me that her name is bhanu rekha. she was cuter than baribie girl. she made me completely upside down for that moment. black dress with black transperant chunni, with that gold lace around her neck, she looked so amazing. my eyes used to halt whenever i saw her, for the next 3 years.
- cut -
BR, as i call her, is doing her MS in USofA now. thanx to sushma, coz of her, i got this chance to talk with her.

few months later, same year.
chitti nagar bustop, vijayawada. it was the most busiest bustop i ever seen. was returning from somewhere, it was evening and was sunday i guess. saw this girl. not very beautiful. but something was there in her which got my attention. that sovereign walk, graceful smile and a cute face made a wonderful fusion.
- cut -
she was in our college. ECM. named roopa. came to know from rakesh that she was one of the best ppl he ever met. i admired her, whenever i saw her.
- cut -
roopa is doing her MBA and got placed into a high paying job. i guess she has got a bunch of fans by now. roopa, i guess she doesnt even know my name.


one year later.
we used to have this julus kinda atmosphere in canteen during lunch hour. if some tom is running to purchase the tokens, then dick will be getting bored standing in the queue. if some harry is busy eating the sambar rice (our canteen had this greatest sambar of the world) then larry would be having a sip of coke.
- cut -
in the mid of 3rd semester, one fine day, i gotto see this girl in black, with a nose ring to her right nostril and a black thread hugging her neck. she looked so damn awesome, that everyone around her started blurring and fading out... suddenly the canteen seemed to be the best place to hang out. she was in the civil department. one year senior to me. that she'll leaving college in a couple of years. that means all the brighness will disappear in 2 years.
- cut -
it was the college day celebrations in our 3rd year. this girl,(sireesha was the name) was wearing a black saree, with a necklace joining the black thread. she was... like... an angel, got into black, just for a change. all the males were admiring the beauyt tho the rest were envying her.
- cut -
never seen her again after college. kishore shez in infy-bangalore. bangalore is lucky is she is there. i always had this desire, to go to her and tell that, 'you are so beautiful'. never did that.


1997, few weeks after the release of iddaru.
got to see this song composed by rehman and directed by mani ratnam 'sasi vadane..' which had madhubaala and mohan lal most of the frames. but it also had few frames for this girl with captivating blue green eyes and elegant attitude. since then she continues to be the most beautiful female i ever seen.
- cut -
Aishwarya Rai may not be well known outside of Asia, but i think it's only a matter of time before this India's jewel becomes the whole world's darling.

15 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

when i opened wordweb to get the meaning of 'crush' it said,
1] Temporary love of an adolescent
2] The act of crushing

which one applies to ur post :-)

every frame was well captured raj. great. and kudos for the guts to put in names as well

April 09, 2006 11:47 PM  
Blogger Yasaswi said...

its defenetly not the 2].
yah, i was hesitating to put aishwarya's name a bit.

April 09, 2006 11:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

r u sure these are the only crashed crushes u have???

April 10, 2006 4:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

excellent ....but why Crashed...????
dint get.. :(

April 10, 2006 6:22 AM  
Blogger Yasaswi said...

@tanuja
none of my crushes know that i had a crush on them... thats the way they r crashed

@anonymous
there are a lot man girl i liked. but if i dont remember them so that i can put my views abt them... then probably they are not my crushes.
by the way whoz this?

April 11, 2006 12:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nice one raji ... but i think u forgot some .... wut abt Keer...,Mah... n ur fav... Maggie ??

April 11, 2006 3:27 AM  
Blogger vichika said...

babu raju.. inta visyam unda!!! :P.. hehehhe they say thousand crashes pave the way to true love..:P... edo flow lo rasesa follow ayyipo :P

April 11, 2006 4:08 PM  
Blogger Yasaswi said...

@nani,
sireesha was my senior. and yes, i had a crush on harini. yah, the link isnt completed at u'll see another such post in a year or two.
@veechika,
avu mari, inta 'visyam' undi.
pleez, i cant wait till it counts 1000.

April 11, 2006 11:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello RAJ,

I'm back, the anonymous who irritated u and ur friends a bit.

I agree with you...crushes and crushes. I had one with my junior 6-7 years younger to me and turned out one day that it never was a crush (she corrected me and smiled one day). I used to follow her badly and God only knew where I was going with this.

She being an Anglo-Indian by birth, I was fancying my chances. She smiled but I never dared to talk to her. It went on like this and unfortunately life turned other way and I had to leave that place.

Never met her after that. Hope I didnt bother you with this.

Sorry for the previous troubles I created for you.

Also remember one small thing - they say "Better to be loved and lost than not to have loved at all"

April 12, 2006 1:38 PM  
Blogger Yasaswi said...

u r not an anonymous anymore, friend!
never found a gal worth going behind. infact i wud luv to do these... following a gal, proposing her, get slapped vth her, still dont step back and then finally win her. but, just din find such a gal.
u r right."Better to be loved and lost than not to have loved at all"
wud like to know more about u.

April 12, 2006 9:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well...

U know what... I read your post once again today and I believed myself that, you, apart from doing your course in IDRBT..try your hand at script writing for some movies..

Believe me you can make a gr8 director out of no one..you have such good use of words and creative talent (even though all these things happened to you)..your experiences are more like a beautiful song..more or less resembles a love story made by some of the best directors in the world...

I bet if I try my hand at making your post a movie..i would have marked my career in movies..

But the ending was a bit disappointing as you never mentioned whats your position now..and how you intend to go on and stuff like that..

Lastly Raj...I wouldnt want to break ur heart...so I wouldnt reveal myself..:-)

But you should have seen me and talked to me (if you remember)in the HCU a couple of times by now...so sorry I can tell you who I am..

Anyways I really meant what I said here...All the best for your life my friend...

April 13, 2006 2:33 PM  
Blogger Yasaswi said...

@ ananymous
i was uncomfortable reading ur post. blushing will be the wrong word, but i am unaware of the right word. embarracing may this word xplains my position. as u said u meant it, i wud like to thank u. but, scripting, huh, i way beyond my ability. did u chek rock's blogs (1 & 2) or soumya's view in my list of 'blogs i read'? i am sure u'll change ur view. and, guess, rock is my room mate; and soumya is another friend in our very own hcu. and chek these guys out... vijay and sarat from MTech... if u go thru their blogs... my blog vll look like a kinder garden student's scrap book. encounter vth such ppl vthin my neighborhood... makes my feet firmly stuk to my ground.

and why my heart will break knowing ur name? if thatz becoz ur prev comments... as u askd me, i dont hav any hard feelings.

April 13, 2006 11:33 PM  
Blogger Yasaswi said...

as they say... 'miles to travel before i sleep'.

April 13, 2006 11:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm..Well buddy..

I guess rock is Pradeep (correct me if I'm wrong) and soumya is a Mass.Comm student right? I know soumya.

Isnt she the one who does theater and is a very good actor..seen her in Univ..with this rather good looking guy..who's that lucky fellow..

Read her blog before..i am a crusading blogger (reading many blogs)so I happen to be reading many blogs..but hey I was talking abt your post..and its gr8 its own sense...

Anyways if pradeeps not rock then is it someone else?

and please...sorry for this too..no identities revealed..I would feel bad for you..

Will comment in your new post too..

Bye for now.

April 14, 2006 12:03 PM  
Blogger Yasaswi said...

no, rock isnt pradeep. rock is rakesh. yah u r correct abt soumya. i shudnt discuss these details here.
now, when u've decided that u wont reveal ur identity, wut cud i do? after all, its ur identity.

April 14, 2006 10:18 PM  

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